Claustrophobic Love

"Do you love me?" Do you love me she inquired again . Excuse me? Abhishek was prompt and yet shocked. I don't even know you he replied, i dont even know your name. Yet you trust me with your life? she retorted back with remorse.
They had been stuck in the elevator for over an hour now. Abhishek was finishing work on a non working Saturday. Hence he was late. He needed to rush, as it was the party of the life time and he did not want to miss. It was 10pm on a Saturday evening, with all black party due at Dublin. How could he miss it. He needed to change and rush. Usually he would always take the stairs even if it meant to climb down ten floors, he suffered from claustrophobia. But today he thought otherwise, today he was alone, and the lift was at his floor. He thought being the only person in the lift it was worth taking the risk.

The lift on its way down stopped at the seventh floor, where she entered.
The petite bespectacled yet charming young lady. he had seen her often in the building premises.
They shared a small greeting while she entered.
It was on the 5th floor it happened. Sudden power cut.
The elevator jerked to a halt. This was Abhishek's worst night mare. It could not happen to him again. Every time Abhishek boarded a lift more chances than not it got stuck, and yet again today when he thought the lift could not be overloaded, it stuck of power cut.
It was more than a hour now, it was the worst bout of claustrophobia he ever faced. he could feel a sense of paranoia around him. He could breath and still feel breathless . The dim emergency light gave the place a more smaller look than what it actually was.
He thought whats taking so long to get generators running, it was the Saturday night and that was the problem. Usually at this hour there were no people in the building. The guard hence always indulged in a bit of inebriation. today the bit was an understatement.
He did make some calls from his cell phone asking for help, it was long due. Every moment that passed was like a year, and ticking of his wrist watch seemed like gong of death.

You alright she asked, though suffering from paranoia herself she was more composed than him. I am averse to lifts he replied. Claustrophobic ? yes only in lifts though. Yes i had traveled with you once, you might have noticed, but u seemed comfortable traveling by air she smirked. We did! , well i cant remember though when, i am yet to travel from this office, i am a new joinee. No from Pune to Delhi was her reply. That was 3 years back. I have only traveled once, in that route. That was just after college. Well i am impressed, u seem to have an awesome memory, he smiled. He was quite amused, well those days he used to be in shape, and tall and dark, he thought.. his face lingered in her mind for over 3 years now, he was all self appreciation. Well my memory is not that great, she replied but yours needs to be improved. we studied in the same college , were my senior. I was part of the cultural society team, where even you were a part. And there was a silence, that seemed to echo in the dull elevator. This was impossible he thought, he knew he suffered from selective amnesia, but never till had forgotten people.
You never noticed, did you? the girl who used to hover around you, who would pass on the water when you guys were tired putting posters and back drops. Hold on the ladder, and pass the scalpel when the trees and wall needed climbing for banners to be put and the campus to be decorated . Was I that insignificant? Abhishek was blank, did not have single trace of her in his memory, he did not know what to reply.
Sorry if i ever hurt you. I was too engrossed with work. No you weren't, you were too engrossed wooing the hot chics i would say, she replied with a smirk, but it sounded as if it was a frown.

Do you love me she inquired?
Excuse me i don't even know your name, I hardly know you.
I dont know what you talking of, but i cant recall you. Sam used to assist me in all my college activities, he held the ladders for me , I even gave him my pen knife as a token so that he could take charge of the same next year.
And what about those days when he did not turn -up. Some one from my team would help me out.
So i am some one now, u don't even know my name, and yet you trusted me with your life. I was always the some one who held your ladder, passed the water and the knife. There where times i could have shaken you off the ladder, i felt like doing it more than once. Once i was about to stab you with your pen knife, but right at the moment Sam turned up. You owe your life to me she said with this hysteric laugh.
Suddenly the paranoia that had engulfed him for over an hour now increased in geometric proportions. He was choking he thought. But why, what was my fault i was always working, i never abused you, never passed any innuendos or tried to take advantage of you, then why.
Because you were indifferent towards my insignificant existence in college. I was not a popular in college was so minuscule for you that you never noticed. i have done so much for you and you never even asked my name.
When we traveling together, i greeted you. You did smile, i thought you had noticed me and recalled me, but it was the same greeting that you gave me in lift today, a small courtesy greeting. Is at right next to you, you at the window and i at the middle even when aisle was empty, just to have a chat with you, some thing i longed for years. But you put your earplugs on . You asked the attendant for a pillow, and told her you suffer from claustrophobia , hence wanted to sleep, but asked her not worry, its mainly in elevators you have problems not yet on flights.
Are you stalking me? he shouted knowing not what to say, no she replied only avenging you.
the moment the power failure happened in the darkness she had pressed the stop button. So even when power came back Abhishek did not realise, it did The lift never moved.
Abhishek for not knowing me, for your complete disregard towards my sole existence today you will pay the price. And suddenly Abhishek felt the choking intensify breathlessness along with paranoia, increased his palpitation . He shouted and screamed. He shouted aloud, and and fell of his bed. Hid dad glanced at him with one eye full of sleep, son you auditioning for Indian idol in your sleep or what, and went back to sleep. It was just a nightmare he thought, the one that shook him out of his wits, some how he remembered the face the petite charming bespectacled face.

he met the same face again on the stairs next day, she was coming down while he was going up, the passed the courtesy greeting once more, Abhishek still shaken by last nights dream. Some how after climbing few more stairs he rushed back and shouted, excuse me miss, where you from Fergusson?
Thank god she replied, i thought you would never recognise.

Abhishek's Selective amnesia could not erase every insignificance he wanted to forget, it caught up with him

Times have Changed

Its over, the honeymoon is over. It lasted for 2 and a half years post graduation. It was a long time , and good till lasted. Well from Bob Dylan's Time they are changin to Things have changed, is a full circle that has changed the life of us Gokhaleites.. We love to meet each other though, we get nostalgic and go away, we all have something to say, which we would have told each other during Post Graduation , but now we find it not pertinent enough to disclose.
Do we have some thing to look ahead for, apart from how good we were together.
We had planned marriages, to attend ..and kids to tell stories off. We thought we would cry our guts out when people part. But why are our eyes dry today.. do we not love our friends no more, or is it just Let it be.
In this quintessential life of turmoil we have again come to believe relationships of any sort dwindle over time post college.. and we have been proved right again . as we are ready to make new starts to our lives once again post Gokhale, i just wish we were coming back to life once again as well.

Communalism and Communism

I have grown up in a city, the final destination of Communism , Calcutta ( I do not call it Kolkata)
I have always detested the ideology, but unlike many Bengalis who practice the doctrine with having a clue of its principals, i would pat own back for criticising after studying it. Its Karl Marx who to me had foreseen the end himself, but wisely enough he did not pen it down, if he had then might have been different for his Marxist follower. He had seen the cycle, Royalty - Aristocracy- Bourgeois-Proletariat, was his cycle, The thing thats common between all the predecessors of Proletariat were, they started with a revolution, with a good cause in mind( or at least they thought so) but once in power got corrupted.. and hence new form of doctrine in brief the theory of Dialectic materialism.
Whatever i guess i am deviating from my point.
I have grown up in the final resting place of Marxism .. with the longest serving incumbent government in history of modern politics his still serving its tenure.
I hated their policies till recently , as even though i was always in favour of a welfare state, I always thought of the economic viability of the result.
Any way for many things that i have hated the left, there is one thing that i do like is abouts its one positive externality , annihilation of communal fanaticism.
Why i say its an externality is because, one of the few principle of communists is opposing the faith in god.
The the cadres, their party men were just left comrades.. their religion was communism
With wide advent of naxalism ( read firebrand vandalism) in the 70s gave onus to this communist doctrine .
Everytime their was a communal disharmony.. there would have been a clash of three.. The two communal groups and the communists... and no points for guessing who won. Its was like if you guys fight on communal grounds ,ill slaughter you both.. cant you see you guys are killing our cadres and vote banks.
So there you go..
I wont say riots never erupted in Calcutta, it e3rupted only in very few parts of the city, and cool down within a day or 2.
Even in 92 when India through out was burning.. Calcutta was relatively quieter. it was very weird for a state with a demography of a 50 -50 share in numbers. Whats funny was even though areas like Park Circus a pre-dominantly Muslim locality did see communal violence 1992.. yet the next year it again hosted one of Calcutta's one of the largest Durga Pujas.
thats one of the essence that communist have brought into Communal part of Calcutta.
Even though with its fair share (near 40%) Muslim Population, West bengal has never been very communal apart from the partition time which also stopped with Gandhi intervening .
Well the communal harmony has another reason to it. Bengalis are always Bengalis first and their religion are always secondary and communism has enhanced that as well. (Bangladesh breaking away from Pakistan on linguistic grounds remember)
Durga Puja is now not a Hindu festival but a Bengali Festival. and hence there are many large Puja like Park Circus, and Mohammad Ali Park which are to large extent funded my Muslims.. and hence that makes me a proud Calcuttan ( and under my breath i dont want people to hear, i am thanking the communists for that)

The Devils Advocate:

Calcutta with a secular mindset . and a soft corner for fellow Bengali's on the other side of the border , because they are Bengalis first , might become a safe haven for terrorists, in recent past we have noted, Bangladesh is becoming a breeding ground for them. Its easy for these louts to cross the volatile border and take shelter in Calcutta, as no body will question them.
Its weird how Communal Harmony is being used for Communal fanaticism .. and yet Indian Government might be in a fix to take any strong measure against Bangladesh.. as Bengalis will resist such decision.. This why I hate Bengalis being Bengalis first